
40 Wedding Cancellations That Turned Out To Be The Smartest Move Ever
Interview With ExpertDeciding to marry someone is one of the biggest choices we ever make. It’s full of excitement, hope, and sometimes, unexpected realizations. Because, while saying “Yes” can feel magical, there are moments when something shifts, and that “Yes” turns into a very firm “No.”
That’s exactly what sparked an online thread where someone asked, “People who called off their weddings, why?” The responses came pouring in, revealing everything from sudden red flags to heartbreaking betrayals. In this collection, people share the real, raw, and sometimes even hilarious reasons they pulled the plug before walking down the aisle. Whether you're curious, cautious, or just love a good escape story, these moments are full of emotion, self-awareness, and a surprising amount of relief.
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Not me but my older cousin. She was engaged to a man who had previously had a drinking problem. She refused to get engaged to him until he got sober. He did, so they got engaged and planned their wedding.
Nine days before the wedding she found out he started drinking again. She instantly cancelled the wedding.
I remember being a very young teenager at the dinner table where all my aunts, my mother, great aunt, and my grandmother were gossiping about it. And by gossiping I mean they were all heavily praising my cousin for sticking to her guns and knowing when to leave. They ALL agreed it was so much better to leave before the wedding.
It was a formative moment for me.
Here were all these older women, who were country club members and old fashioned and had already spent all this money to fly in, and they were ALL absolutely on my cousins side from the jump. This wasn’t a cheap wedding. These weren’t “new age” women. And since it had been hidden so well, they all had no idea about the drinking problem and had actually loved the soon-to-be-groom. He’d had total family approval.
It made me so much more comfortable than my peers leaving relationships that just weren’t working. I knew my family wouldn’t judge me even if he seemed nice and it would be a hassle for them if I decided “no”. So I didn’t stick around bad relationships and never felt pressure to keep up appearances that everything was perfect around my family.
I’m so grateful to my cousin for having the courage to cancel that wedding. And I’m so happy for her she’s in a rock solid marriage now with wonderful children she’s raising to know they’re loved and supported.
I love that the older women in her family gave her a shiny spine so she doesn't feel obligated to stay in bad relationships.
I had two of my own very young children. I told him while we were dating I wasn't sure I wanted more children so if it was what he was looking for we should split. About 8 months later, he asked me to marry him. The more arrangements we made he kept talking about growing the family. I agreed when my youngest was in school I would have one more so he could have a bio child. He kept talking about having 5 more.
I kept telling him it wasn't too late to call off but I wasn't having five more. He insisted he loved me and didn't care if we had any more but he always dreamt of a big family. A WEEK out from the wedding I heard him talking to a buddy that planned on forcing me into creating his family.
Four days from the wedding, I canceled and ended our relationship.
27 years later, he is married w/6 kids and one on the way.
I am married w/ my 2 adult kids in their 30's and my nephew in his early 20's.
We were out thousands of dollars but it saved us both from being unhappy.
If you are asking because you are considering it. DO IT.
Trust yourself and do not worry what everyone else will think.
Force her? That would make this guy an abüser at best, but more likely a rāpist.
His mother. It felt like she was planning her own wedding. I had no say in anything. She uninvited my best friend and cousins from my bridal party behind my back because they were single and instead invited a niece of hers I never met and the groomsmen gfs who I barely knew. She booked a hall and picked the menu without consulting us even though she wasn't contributing a cent. Whenever I brought up all this to my now ex, he took his mother's side. That to me was massive red flag and knew she was always going to be butting in and he would always take her side so I called it all off.
His now wife is a mini version of his mother. She used to be cute but now has same Karen haircut and colour as his mother and even dressed the same as her. Glad I walked out of that mess while I could.
When a fairytale wedding on screen suddenly takes a dramatic turn, doesn’t your heart skip a beat? While it might seem like that level of chaos is reserved for rom-coms or soap operas, real-life wedding drama can be just as intense and even more unpredictable. This thread is proof that sometimes, the aisle turns into a runway... straight out the door.
From betrayals to buried secrets, there are plenty of reasons someone might cancel a wedding at the last minute. Cheating, lies, or even realizing they’re not ready—some red flags just can’t be ignored. And when those deal-breakers surface right before “I do,” calling it off can be the hardest, yet bravest, decision of all.
We hadn't sent the invites yet but had booked the venue. They started talking about starting a family right away. They had known I was child free for the duration of our relationship. I guess they just thought that I was trapped and would change my mind? I did, about marrying them.
I'm so grateful to younger me for sticking to my guns.
My friend's fiancé turned out to be a flat-earther. Guess that was the tip of the iceberg. Wedding's off, sanity's intact.
It's so strange to me for someone to believe the earth is flat...like...we have so much proof. It's not the 1400s.
Even though the bride wasn't a practicing Jehovah's Witness she still wanted the atheist groom to convert to please her very religious family who weren't coming to the wedding and hadn't spoken a word to him during the three years they had been dating.
The emotional toll of a canceled wedding is heavy, not just for the couple, but for everyone around them. There’s heartbreak, embarrassment, and lots of unanswered questions. But let’s not forget the financial blow. With venues, vendors, travel, and attire involved, it’s not just feelings that get crushed, it’s wallets, too.
To better understand the financial impact of wedding cancellations, Bored Panda spoke with Raghubir Singh, the founder of BMP Weddings. With years of experience and a reputation for pulling off elegant, large-scale events, Singh has seen it all. He generously offered insight into what happens behind the scenes when things don’t go as planned. "There’s more to it than just a postponed celebration," he said. “It affects everyone who was a part of building the big day.” And the ripple effect is often bigger than most people imagine.
She got pregnant and I do not have a p***s to facilitate that.
It ended up being the best thing for me in the long run! I moved cross country and have a better than I could’ve ever imagined having with her!
This reminds me of that post some time back with the navy officer asking for time off citing "my wife wants to get pregnant this weekend and I'd like to be there when it happens" lol
A coworker called off her wedding because her fiance did none of the planning with her. He just starfish’ed his way through. The final straw was when she pulled up a catering meal plan she tried to plan with him *for six months*, and he lost it on her because “she should’ve known his father hated cottage cheese.”
Broke up with him there, reimbursed him for the measly “half” he paid for everything…which was like only 25%.
I too, want to know what "starfished" means. Sounds like maybe they just laid there inert with arms and legs splayed out?
“We put our souls into every wedding,” Singh shared. “From custom decor to intricate planning, everything is tailored to the couple.” The goal is always to create an unforgettable experience. "But when a wedding is called off, all that preparation often goes to waste." While the emotional toll is high for the couple, Singh reminds us the work doesn't disappear. The effort from dozens of professionals often vanishes without recognition.
He became violent during our engagement, finally choking me until I was unconscious. I visited my parents a few days later. I assume my dad saw the bruises, because for the first time I can remember he had a sit-down, emotional conversation to ask if this was the life I really wanted, where I saw myself in 5 years. I realized my now-ex was probably going to k**l me, and indeed he did point a gun at me when I broke up with him. I had to get a restraining order and actually ended up studying abroad that summer in an attempt to get away from him. He moved schools and later married (then divorced) my step-cousin.
Good for her. She got out. Glad her dad stepped up and showed her she would be supported if she got away.
Two weeks out I walked into her on top of my (now ex) friend on Valentine's Day. That'll do it.
Had a cousin that called off his wedding a month before. He found out she had already been married before and had 2 young kids that she left back in her home country.
“We always try to be empathetic,” he added. “It’s a heartbreaking decision for the couple.” But even with understanding, the practical side remains. “There are caterers, decorators, lighting teams, florists: we all put in days of effort.” When a wedding is canceled suddenly, these professionals are left with expenses and lost opportunities. “That’s the part people rarely think about,” he said.
Singh noted that large venues usually demand significant deposits that are often much more than 10%. “It’s money we pay upfront to lock the date and space,” he said. If a wedding is canceled close to the date, that money is typically gone. “Most venues don’t offer refunds for last-minute cancellations,” he explained. In some cases, a penalty is added on top of the loss.
I had a medical crisis requiring multiple surgeries, and his reaction was to yell at me for faking illnesses to get out of housework and breaking my things to “motivate” me to get out of bed. He seemed so relieved when I ended it, that I’m pretty sure that was exactly what he wanted without looking like the bad guy.
He said, if I knew you had a chronic illness, I never would have dated you.
While beating him to arrange all the refunds, I found out…
1. He was on parole for a cyber fraud crime
2. He was trying to pull a dodgy on our home loan application during settlement which placed all the risk against my parents home.
OK this is why we run background checks before we get serious with people.
Two months before the wedding, police showed up at the house stating they had a warrant for his arrest.
For robbing a gas station of Kratom. (OTC d**g?)
Dude had a raging a*******n and I realized this was not the life I wanted to live. Dumped him and the house like a sack of rocks.
Few years later I rekindled with my highschool sweetheart and we now have a beautiful baby, hold out until you find what you really deserve and never, ever settle for less
Edit: no more wedding police
Catering costs are another major concern. “Most caterers ask for full payment before the event,” Singh said. “They need time to source high-quality ingredients, especially for custom menus.” He explained that many Indian weddings require imported or specialty items. “Once that food is prepped, we can’t just return it,” he added. “We let the staff take some, and the rest is donated to avoid waste.”
Florists also take a hit when weddings are canceled last minute. “Indian weddings use an enormous amount of fresh flowers,” Singh explained. “Garlands, backdrops, table settings, it adds up.” These flowers are ordered in bulk and often customized. “They’re perishable, and we can’t repurpose them for another client.” That’s a lot of cost that can’t be recovered.
I was 19 and about to marry a loser but I was “in love”. My best friend said she wouldn’t be my maid of honour if I went through with it. She was not a bossy woman, nor was she comfortable saying it. I walked away and am extremely thankful I did.
She went to a party, found someone better and called it off about 2,5 months before the wedding. 10 yrs together, 2 kids.
That’s 2 years ago, I’m not doing well.
Oh wow...does this really happen...like I know it happened here but like, is this common or were there other things happening in that 10 years. Really messed up for the other person though.
Caught her cheating 3 months before.
“We also pay the DJ in advance,” Singh added. “That locks in their time so they don’t take other gigs.” If a cancellation happens, the payment is non-refundable. “They’ve reserved the day for us, and that’s income lost if we cancel.” For live performers and specialty artists, the same rules usually apply. “It’s a professional courtesy and part of the cost.”
Other service providers might not require advance payment, but that doesn’t mean there’s no financial hit. “Hair stylists, makeup artists, transport vendors, some we pay after the event,” he said. “But even they often charge a cancellation fee.” Singh said that it’s standard in the industry. “You can’t pull out last-minute and expect zero loss,” he added.
She told me that she was settling for me and had viewed our relationship as transactional for some time.
I wanted a spouse not a roommate.
Truly don't get how you could stay married to someone you don't love. I mean with the ups and downs and frustrations... why would you put up with that if you didn't love them?
She hit me.
I was engaged and one night my fiancée was leaving my place and went to say bye to my two young kids. My son said “Bye, I love you!” My fiancée didn’t say it back, looked like he saw a ghost. I gave it a few days before saying, “You know we need to talk about the other night, right?” And he said, “I don’t know what happened, all I could think was I need to get out of here now”. That was it, I called it off. In hindsight I shouldn’t have ever accepted his proposal before he told my kids he loved them.
That said, he was a wonderful boyfriend and I’m thankful for the fun times we had. He just wasn’t ready to be a step dad at all.
That’s… kinda nice actually? Sounds like OP doesn’t have any harsh feelings
“And then, of course, we pay our own staff,” Singh continued. “From planners to assistants, everyone works long hours.” The preparations for a wedding often start weeks in advance. “Even if the event doesn’t happen, their time and effort deserve compensation.” That payroll doesn’t stop just because a party didn’t happen. “We still have a team to support.”
He punched me in the face.
I was going to type the story but it's not interesting or important. We got into a fight and he was an emotional troglodyte who reacted accordingly.
I called the cops and took half the money out of our checking account. We were living paycheck to paycheck so everything bounced. I laughed about it to his bestie when he called to tell me to give it back.
Hey you saw the signs and you reacted appropriately. You got out. That's what matters.
We moved in together after the engagement. Her Armenian parents threw a $20k engagement party at a yacht club and invited something like 50 people. I invited my family and like 6 friends. There was a priest who said something in Armenian. It was essentially a wedding without the vows.
Anyway, we moved in together on a 6 month lease and it became very apparent that she did not know how to function in life. Didn’t pay her own bills or credit cards yet thought I was financially irresponsible because I had student loans and credit card debt from college.
She was so spoiled and out of touch that when we looked for houses her requirements were, “AT LEAST 2,000 sq ft and a pool.” Maybe her dad would have given us the down payment, but I wasn’t sticking around to find out.
Ninja edit: Mind you, this was in 2008 right before the crash. Homes like she wanted were $800k+ and large numbers of them would soon be foreclosed on after they drop by half
Back to original:
She wanted me to get rid of my cats. She got pissed off and jealous when I went to my sister’s baby shower a day early to help saying, “I’m way more important than some baby.” She didn’t like me spending time with anyone but her and she didn’t want to spend time with my family. She wanted to stop having s*x until we were married because her aunt told her it was in the Bible. I made it clear that any one of those things was a dealbreaker for me.
She got sick, threw up all over the apartment and didn’t clean it up, expecting me to do it, which I did when I got home out of caring for her but 8 hours of vomit on carpet left a stain. The second time she got sick and threw up all over the bathroom and I told her she can do it or leave the bathroom door shut. It took a week.
Then came the baby trap. I saw it, side stepped it, and made plans to go. Got a new job, moved back to my home town, and got my happiness back. That was all in 4 months of the 6 month lease. I realized most of the way through that that not only did I not love her, I didn’t even like her. I dodged a huge bullet. Several, actually.
I would've ended it immediately after she told me to get rid of the cats.
Her best friend crashed the wedding, she spilled something that utterly shattered me, she had s*x with her ex the night before our wedding, I’m glad cause I would have ended up in a paternity court to determine which child is mine and I bet I won’t be the father of them all.
Singh emphasized that planners do everything they can to minimize the damage. “We renegotiate with vendors, try to reuse materials, even push back delivery dates,” he said. “We do our best to cushion the blow.” Most couples are understanding and cooperative. “They usually help us cover unavoidable costs,” he noted. “But not every situation is that smooth.”
“We’ve had couples or more often, families, who become difficult,” Singh admitted. “They refuse to pay or argue about terms after canceling.” That puts planners in a tough spot, balancing professionalism with damage control. “It adds extra stress to an already sensitive situation.” Still, Singh says they try to handle everything with grace. “Because ultimately, someone’s heart is broken.”
I called off my wedding about 2 weeks before. He was emotionally and verbally a*****e throughout our relationship but it only got worse the closer we got to the wedding. I knew if we got married I would be divorced within a year. Best decision of my life!
We fell apart after a miscarriage and he drew farther away from me, to the point I wasn't recognizing the person I was with. We never fought, and then we were fighting about the most minor things almost every day, and he refused to apologize when he hurt me, always hurting me more and more.
One day I walked 40 minutes in the sun to meet him after work at his house and he picked a fight because I wanted to hear one (seriously, one) Fleetwood Mac song to relax after a very stressful day. He was such a d**k that I chose to go back to my home walking after that (another 40 minutes walking) and he just sent me a message to ask how I was the other day. No apologies, no nothing. All this time we started planning the wedding and while I just wanted to set a date and make it as intimate as possible, he wanted a big shindig with all the bells and whistles, the mere thought of it scared me.
Then he started saying he wanted to explore his bisexuality (we're both bi, he never "lived" it, I did) and a little later he asked to open the relationship. I didn't want to, but did it, and it unfolded as the classic tale of reluctant open relationships: he got out with so many people the first weeks (men and women) and asked me to give it a try. Even helped me install tinder. I started going out with people, then realized I was having so much fun and being treated so much better by strangers than in my almost five year engagement. And I got SO MANY dates. Meanwhile, he realized he wanted to be only with me after all and started having jealousy fits. I realized I didn't want that for my life anymore. I broke up with him and when I did, he became again the person I longed for all this time and tried to win me over again, but I just didn't love him like that anymore, although I still had a lot of appreciation for him.
We tried again three times, which of course didn't work, took some needed time apart and now we can call each other friends again and mean it (it's not all black and white--example: he saved me from s*****e after I was drugged and r***d a year later). I'll be a bridesmaid at his wedding this year and he'll be a groomsmen at mine. We both had a say in "approving" our current significant others, cause we know each other upside down and know if someone wouldn't be good for each other. He apologized a lot for his actions in the past and redeemed himself. In summary, we realized we were better as friends than romantic partners, and found people we're way more compatible with (and I'm pleased to say my now partner sings Fleetwood Mac at the top of his lungs with me).
I thought this was going to end horribly, but it's lovely to see that all the bad ended up with both of them finding healthy relationships.
Few months before the wedding found evidence that he’d been cheating with my (married) ex best friend and bridesmaid. They were both total gaslighting AHs after I found out and made sure to get everyone we knew to think I was crazy. Fun times….
Not me but a friend. He called it off just about a week before after she called his son, who has autism and is a nice kid, a "r****d". .
“It’s always a tricky situation,” Singh concluded. “We want to support the couple, even if the wedding doesn’t happen.” Weddings are about love, joy, and celebration. But when they don’t go as planned, they leave a trail of emotional and financial weight. Have you ever attended a wedding that got canceled last-minute? Was it emotional, dramatic or a bit of both? Tell us your story.
I wanted a very small ceremony and he demanded something extravagant. I wanted to be married but I hate weddings. I think they're a waste of money.
My ex was mentally and verbally abused by his parents. As time went on, he thought it was okay to treat me the way his dad treated his mom, and control me. I saw him pushing a baby stroller about six months later; he was cheating and had a child with his now wife.
I called off my first engagement about 2 months before the wedding: I was quite young and he was a good bit older and previously married. I gradually came to a realization that I had different views, wanted to continue my education, see the world etc. I was rationalizing to myself that we could probably have a few good years but had zero expectation that we would stay married. After I called it off, my family and friends universally told me I had done the right thing. In retrospect, he was jealous and controlling and it was kind of a terrible relationship. But guess what? I went to graduate school, travelled the world and have been married to my true love for 31 years.
The minute you start thinking of it as a starter marriage or that there's an expiration date you have to know that it is not a good idea to go forward.
My sister called hers off. A girl she didn't know came up to her and told her she was pregnant. Guess who the daddy was?
My two college friends had been dating since sophomore year. They planned their wedding for the fall after graduation. He called it off the day before. I love her, but she was very controlling in their relationship. He never really tried to push back. He was also realizing that she may have a drinking problem. He didn’t want to deal with that forever.
It was a mess. They lived together. They had all mutual friends. Ultimately, it was the right choice. He should have figured it out earlier. They both eventually married other people. She got sober about 10 years later.
Glad he found his shiny spine and stood up before they got married. Just sad it took him so long.
He had cheated on me earlier in the relationship and I had stayed. He was very controlling of our finances and I fell out of love with him. I realized we barely had anything in common aside from our jobs. We were set to marry and then Covid hit. Our wedding got postponed and I took my chance then to leave. My mom and sister helped me pack up my belongings and I left all my furniture I had bought. I am now married to my best friend and we have a baby on the way.
Furniture is just 'stuff'. It's far, far easier to replace 'stuff' than try to reclaim the years spent with a person who is abusing you. It's not just the years you were in a relationship, but also the years where you spend second guessing yourself. Ditch the stuff, and be free.
One friend of mine realized she was more in love with the idea of being married than the actual guy.
He turned violent.
I'm glad so many people see the violence and take it for the warning sign it is. Glad they got out.
Found out he had been cheating online for the entire duration of our relationship and called things off 6 months before the big day.
Called off the wedding a month before the date.
Came down to a variety of factors but the biggest one is that I just wasn’t happy. Relationships should have an element of compromise but it felt very one sided for me.
I don’t regret the decision.
The wedding was a stressor that ultimately ended in him canceling and breaking up with me 6 months out.
I was so fixated on everything being perfect and becoming the perfect wife to be for him and it just ended up being what neither of us wanted. Our honeymoon was booked and paid for and we couldn't refund it. We managed to get a minor amount of money back for the wedding things we'd booked but did lose money overall.
We did not argue or get angry with each other, i was heartbroken and he was beside himself. We took time away from each other.
Now literally 1 week away from what would have been our wedding day we are giving the relationship another go and going on the honeymoon as a holiday. Our first together in nearly 8 years.
We'll see what happens.
i married in 1976 and i remember thinking at the very last moment that i wasn't sure if i wanted to go through with it. i had found out a few things that, at the time, didn't think it would really matter. nothing horrible but not in the mainstream of the lifestyle i thought we would be living. then, moved to his home state and ended up living with his parents. he dropped the bomb of his expecting me to support him while he went to college as well as expecting me to be a stay at home wife/mom, etc. like his mom. three months in i walked out. wish i had had the balls to call it off before i walked down the aisle.
I also wish I'd followed my gut and called off my first wedding before we went through with it. My ex was in loads of debt which he'd lied about and things were never right. It didn't last long, but could have saved us both some heartache if I'd had the guts to cancel, but I was young and too ashamed to admit I'd made a mistake. Happily married to someone else for 20+ years note, though, so all good in the end.
Load More Replies...I was being isolated from friends - specifically male friends, and told that I shouldn't be playing pool every night, despite being a provincial champion and also how we met. Once I woke up, thankfully all the guys were there because they had seen what was happening and welcomed me back with games and shots.
I just wish we could her both (or all) sides of the story in most of these. My wife and I are good friends to both parties in a recent divorce. Apparently each is a little angel and the other the devil incarnate.
A lot of my friends have been divorcing (we're all about 40/50) and while some have been amicable, 2 of them went full psycho...
Load More Replies...i married in 1976 and i remember thinking at the very last moment that i wasn't sure if i wanted to go through with it. i had found out a few things that, at the time, didn't think it would really matter. nothing horrible but not in the mainstream of the lifestyle i thought we would be living. then, moved to his home state and ended up living with his parents. he dropped the bomb of his expecting me to support him while he went to college as well as expecting me to be a stay at home wife/mom, etc. like his mom. three months in i walked out. wish i had had the balls to call it off before i walked down the aisle.
I also wish I'd followed my gut and called off my first wedding before we went through with it. My ex was in loads of debt which he'd lied about and things were never right. It didn't last long, but could have saved us both some heartache if I'd had the guts to cancel, but I was young and too ashamed to admit I'd made a mistake. Happily married to someone else for 20+ years note, though, so all good in the end.
Load More Replies...I was being isolated from friends - specifically male friends, and told that I shouldn't be playing pool every night, despite being a provincial champion and also how we met. Once I woke up, thankfully all the guys were there because they had seen what was happening and welcomed me back with games and shots.
I just wish we could her both (or all) sides of the story in most of these. My wife and I are good friends to both parties in a recent divorce. Apparently each is a little angel and the other the devil incarnate.
A lot of my friends have been divorcing (we're all about 40/50) and while some have been amicable, 2 of them went full psycho...
Load More Replies...